


The Art of Defeat

by toffiendfee



Series: Initial D Oneshots [9]
Category: Initial D
Genre: Asexual Ryousuke Takahashi, I suppose, M/M, Pining, Purple Prose, basically Ryousuke writing an essay on how much he wants Takumi to love him (back), it's literally just pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:01:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27033862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toffiendfee/pseuds/toffiendfee
Summary: "The Art of Defeat. On the personality, particularities, and unique characteristics of one Fujiwara Takumi, also known as the 'Ghost of the Akina Mountain Pass'."Lesser-known companion piece to the essay "Theory of the Fastest Driver on Public Roads."Chosen to be withheld from publication due to unscientificness and containing information personal to the author.
Relationships: Fujiwara Takumi/Takahashi Ryousuke
Series: Initial D Oneshots [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1361323
Kudos: 25





	The Art of Defeat

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea while doing research for my own thesis and I thought it good enough to write it _immediately._ Pretty much every time I write ryokumi, I'm inspired by [this lovely person](https://twitter.com/apartof731)'s amazing artwork. Their artstyle is beautiful and their ryokumi is so soft that I just go (ಥ^ಥ) <3!!! every time I see it...
> 
> For the record: I did not write him like this because I headcanon him as asexual. I wrote him like this because he's also an emotionally repressed nerd.

A September evening. The summit of Mount Akina, Ikaho, Gunma Prefecture.

…

…No. It has to have started earlier.

Possibly August. Same location, similar time. The sight of that 'ghost' through the windshield, so captivating that everything else is blended out of conscious perception: The culminating roar of the engines, the guardrail rushing past in the focus of the headlights, Keisuke speechless in the passenger seat. The only things still within awareness are the controls of the car and that view of the AE86 ahead, driving like it is an art.

…

Not that, either. Possibly even earlier: Watching the person getting out of that same AE86 to take up Keisuke's challenge.

A young man; looking to be younger than Keisuke, in fact. His expression bored or perhaps tired. Body language not fitting someone who has supposedly overtaken Keisuke in an impromptu race. He looks uncomfortable, sheepish. He looks as if he feels like he does not belong here, and Ryousuke is almost inclined to believe the same.

Almost.

Because if what his brother has said is true, something extraordinary is to be seen here. He supposes it could be the modifications made to the outdated car, but that theory is proven wrong as soon as the two cars take off.

No, it has to be the driver. And the very moment the news come crackling out of the walkie-talkie's speaker – the Panda Trueno has _won_ , the voice says in amazed disbelief – that very moment probably marks the beginning of this obsession.

It probably deserves to be called an obsession, although the word sounds somewhat crass for what it describes in this case. It is not unusual for Ryousuke to pour so much of his energy into his passion, and the only difference this time is that the driver himself plays a much bigger role in his calculations than usual.

Fujiwara Takumi was the kind of driver Ryousuke had theorised could exist, but never expected to just come across in the physical world. He considers it a stroke of divine luck, perhaps fate, that their paths ended up crossing.

Talking about fate has no place in his essay, so Ryousuke deletes that line again.

It has gotten late already, and perhaps that is the reason he keeps finding his thoughts straying away into decidedly unscientific territory. It should be a sign to finish working for today, but with a new page open and empty in front of him, he allows his mind to wander.

While the obsession may have started the moment Fujiwara soundly defeated Keisuke, it had been that certain September evening that had really cemented it in place. Finalised along it had been his decision to retire from official races and nurture those two most promising drivers he was fortunate enough to know into racers that could take the professional world by storm.

Almost every second of the decisive evening is etched into Ryousuke's memory and will probably remain there for a long time to come. In retrospect, that race with Fujiwara on the latter's home course had been the culmination of everything Ryousuke had worked towards until that moment. He does not doubt that still greater moments probably wait in the future, what with both Keisuke and Fujiwara improving at the rate they do.

Still, that race on Mount Akina is what brought them all here, and Ryousuke does consider it important to reconsider past experiences from time to time. There still is much to learn.

There still is much to learn about Fujiwara especially. Ryousuke had already taken note of the desire within himself to unravel the younger driver's personality and come to a deeper understanding of him. His quiet, humble nature was most appealing, but there was room to wonder what more there is. Fujiwara continued to be a source of fascination.

'Fascination'. Perhaps that was a more suitable word than 'obsession'.

Barely noticing what he is doing, Ryousuke opens a new document and begins to type. Only after writing one paragraph with his mind only half present does he notice what he has typed: 'The Art of Defeat' says the headline looking back at him from his laptop screen.

He can't help the small huff of laughter that escapes him. Defeat has always been something he loathed and avoided at all costs. _'Failure is not an option'_ , indeed. Even though no-one ever stated it so directly, it has been apparent to him since his early childhood that he was supposed to succeed. It rarely ever bothered him. Some things just were as they were.

That considered, his defeat against Fujiwara should perhaps bother him more. The factors in play here, however, culminate in a vastly different mindset. Even in the moments directly after crossing the finish line back then, Ryousuke most of all felt almost glad.

That is just part of the fascination surrounding Fujiwara, he supposes.

He leans back in his chair, an involuntary smile playing around his mouth, and remembers those all-changing moments.

_For the first few seconds, it feels like an electric charge of shock surging through his body, and only his honed reflexes prevent him from losing control over his car for a moment there. Only then the knowledge starts to settle in: He has lost. There is no way for him to regain the lead anymore. He has been defeated._

_Ryousuke watches the AE86 cross the finish line right in front of him and slowly steps on the brake. The blood is rushing in his ears and for a few moments, he can only hear a ringing as he stares at the rear lights of the car before him, still in shock._

_Then the world slowly comes back into focus. He realizes that the Panda Trueno does not stop behind the finish line where people are waiting and shouting and staring at the two cars in disbelief. No, it drives on, a lot more slowly though now that the race is officially over._

_Ryousuke feels compelled to follow._

_Finally, on a deserted stretch of road only lit by a street lantern, the AE86 pulls over to the side and stops. Ryousuke does the same, pulling the brake and staying seated for another second before he opens the door._

_So this was defeat. It had been a while since he last tasted it. But now that the blood rushing in his ears is slowly quieting down, the feeling of his wounded ego fades into the background. What takes its place is a sort of excitement, yes,_ joy _, that he has not felt the likes of in a long, long time. It feels like he can finally breathe again. Suddenly, he cannot bring himself to stay in the car much longer._

_As he gets out, he can hear another car door open and then close again. And he remembers what he had suspected before the Panda Trueno's race against Keisuke and what he had seen during the race against Nakazato Takeshi and what he has just experienced first-hand: The amazingness of Akina's Eight-Six lies not in the car. No, not at all._

_Fujiwara Takumi is, simply put, a force of nature._

Funnily enough, Ryousuke thinks, Fujiwara seems to be unaware of that himself.

The way he was standing there in the light of that lone streetlight looked sheepish and almost embarrassed, as if he did not quite know what to do with himself. Such an unusual reaction. Where anyone else would have celebrated and boasted about their victory, Fujiwara instead tried to reason that he had not truly won.

Ryousuke remembers regarding him silently for a moment and thinking to himself, _'What a strange guy.'_

His temperament does not seem to fit the way he drives. Even now, over half a year after that race, he still retains that quiet humility that makes for such a contrast to Keisuke as long as they are outside of their respective cars. When they are driving, they are barely distinguishable from one another in style anymore. Ryousuke supposes this is his own doing. It makes him proud to see how far they have both come.

He can't completely imagine where Keisuke would be now if Fujiwara had declined the offer to join the Project, though he feels quite certain in saying that he would not yet have reached the skill level he was at currently.

They both owe Fujiwara a lot.

Ryousuke glances at his chosen headline and once again remembers the feeling of almost-joy at crossing the finish line in second place. It was the moment of certainty that he had found someone who could impersonate all of his theories and ideals, and who could finally enable him to fulfil that 'dream' he has held onto.

What a humbling, exhilarating experience that was.

Ryousuke does not delete the headline and keeps typing.

He finds comfort in the fact that no-one beside himself will ever read this, least of all the person it concerns. He has already decided to put his feelings into writing here; to pour his heart out, so to say. It is not something he would usually consider doing, but he feels as if he has to put it all somewhere in order to not carelessly state any of it at an unsuitable occasion.

Any occasion would be unsuitable considering the nature of the feelings he was currently expressing in this document. Nobody, not even Fujiwara, would feel entirely comfortable having such sentiments revealed to them, and neither would Ryousuke feel comfortable revealing them. The fascination was too deep-running, too offsetting.

It already is written there black on white how Ryousuke desires to delve deeper into the mysteries surrounding a person such as Fujiwara Takumi. It was certainly unfortunate that it was so rare for an opportunity to present itself for doing just that. Fujiwara did not appear a particularly sociable person, instead choosing to keep to himself at outings.

It is a well-known fact among Ryousuke's closer circle of acquaintances that he loathes clingy, intrusive people that rudely keep demanding his attention when he is not willing to give it, yet he sometimes wishes that Fujiwara would be just a little bit more demanding.

His subdued personality was appealing, but hard to get through. Sometimes, Ryousuke felt as if he was withdrawing even further whenever he made an attempt to speak to him. Maybe Fujiwara was able to sense his true intentions and preferred to keep a distance between everything happening within the Project on one side, and the tantalisingly mysterious rest of his life on the other.

Such a shame, Ryousuke thinks. He would like to know more about him beyond the few details he is already aware of. He knows that Fujiwara has been raised by his father, although he does not know anything about the identity or whereabouts of his mother. Considering Fujiwara never speaks of her, it must be an unwelcome topic.  
Besides that, Ryousuke also knows that his father is the owner of a tofu shop, the same one that is advertised on the side of the AE86. He remembers how Keisuke was fuming after having been beaten by a car without any team stickers on it, only an advertisement for a tofu shop. Only, of course, that he had not been beaten by the car (with its stock engine still equipped, adding insult to injury), but by the driver.

Ryousuke smiles at the memory, the moment that intrigue turned into fascination.

Fujiwara Takumi, the racing genius that could turn an outdated model into a threat for anyone who relies on their car's power too much; and for everyone else as well.

There truly was no shame in admitting defeat to such a person.

And then the appeal of his skill was only heightened by his intriguing demeanour and his delightfully handsome appearance…

Truly, there is no denying that Fujiwara is handsome. His features are soft, yet masculine, and Ryousuke occasionally finds himself _appreciating_ them in quieter, less stressful moments. Even more occasionally, a thought runs through his mind along the lines of wanting to run his hands through his downhill ace's hair just to evaluate whether it was as soft as it looked.

Of course, Ryousuke knows well not to follow such a thought to its practical execution. The most he allows himself is the occasional inconspicuous pat on the shoulder, even if he would love nothing more than run that hand down Fujiwara's back instead and perhaps pull him in a little closer.

Closer, both physically and emotionally.

Such sentiments were, unfortunately enough, a fixed part of Ryousuke's fascination with Fujiwara Takumi.

Fascination was, perhaps, still not the correct term: Certainly a better fit than 'obsession', but an even more accurate description would perhaps be 'infatuation'.

…

Ryousuke snaps his laptop shut with a sigh, not before saving the new document and transferring it to a hidden collection, of course.

That was enough soul-searching for today, perhaps even for the rest of the month.

The unfortunate, but most likely conclusion to be drawn from all his collected data is that Fujiwara is unobtainable to him, perhaps indefinitely so. He shows no signs of wanting to open up or even wishing for more contact, which was regrettable.

Still, there was no way to change that by any means that Ryousuke was willing to equip, so the most likely scenario was that he would simply have to endure the unwelcome, hopeless desires.

When he finally falls into his bed, defeatedly, he drifts off into sleep dreaming of a warm body pressed against him.


End file.
